The 40 weirdest Christmas record sleeves

The 40 weirdest Christmas record sleeves

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What can you get a wookie for Christmas, when he already owns a comb?

If ever there was an axiom for the festive season it’s that a Christmas record is good for nothing but its artwork. And even then, you might prefer to feed them to the fire, were it not for the god awful smell. Thankfully somewhat confined to the darker annals of pop history and hailing mainly from a time when the record industry still felt they could make a profit of these monstrosities (and casual/calculated sexism was par for the course), Christmas records have been about as fashionable as the ubiquitous knitted jumper (although with Wu-Tang on the case, maybe that tide is turning too). That said, groaning at their extreme kitsch remains one of the great annual treats.

Some of these do the rounds every year, others perhaps not so much, and while the music certainly ain’t no Bowie & Bing, the very existence of these splendidly hideous objects just about makes the whole thing worth while.


afroman

Cheer up, Afroman.

 

bad santa

Bad Santa.

 

bootsy

Snow globe funk.

 

chanteures

Black stockings.

 

cheers

Christmas cheer.

 

Christmas in the Stars

A scarf for Skywalker.

 

christmas

Who knows what the message here is.

 

cousins

The Cousins.

 

death row

Christmas on Death Row.

 

dennis day

Christmas is for the family.

 

fats domino

Fats Domino and a poodle.

 

green christmas

Christmas is capitalism.

 

green xmas2

Christmas is capitalism (explained).

 

hawaii

Christmas in Hawaii.

 

heino

Heino.

 

jackie gleason

Saucy Santa.

 

kico

Psycho Santa.

 

korla

Khristmas with Korla.

 

liberace

Liberace in furs.

 

marcyXmas

The creepiest one of the lot. Hands down.

 

mom & dads, the - A

Christmas in a progressive household.

 

Muzak

Stimulus Progression #3.

 

navidad tuna

Tuna Christmas.

 

ray charles

Ray Charles riding the sleigh.

 

rudolph

Brown-nose Christmas.

 

sanata gogo

Santa x Zizou

 

sander

Finger-lickin’ Christmas.

 

santana legs

Criminal Christmas.

 

snowball

A snowball fight in Puerto Rico.

 

space santa

Space age santa.

 

student nurses

Student Nurses.

 

sun ra

Sun Ra made a doo-wop Christmas record.

 

switched on santa

Synth Santa.

 

trolls

Norwegian wooden troll Christmas.

 

two front teeth

Austerity wishlist.

 

watch your claws

Santa claws.

 

xmasEngland

Patriotic pudding.

 

xmasincanada

This looks more fun.

 

yellowman

Cheer up, Yellowman.

 

Yoko

Sigh.

  • Lexi

    I remember some of these from my grandmother’s record cabinet.