What can you get a wookie for Christmas, when he already owns a comb?
If ever there was an axiom for the festive season it’s that a Christmas record is good for nothing but its artwork. And even then, you might prefer to feed them to the fire, were it not for the god awful smell. Thankfully somewhat confined to the darker annals of pop history and hailing mainly from a time when the record industry still felt they could make a profit of these monstrosities (and casual/calculated sexism was par for the course), Christmas records have been about as fashionable as the ubiquitous knitted jumper (although with Wu-Tang on the case, maybe that tide is turning too). That said, groaning at their extreme kitsch remains one of the great annual treats.
Some of these do the rounds every year, others perhaps not so much, and while the music certainly ain’t no Bowie & Bing, the very existence of these splendidly hideous objects just about makes the whole thing worth while.